I’ve taken a long hiatus from blogging. Too long. The good news is most days have been pretty awesome, but then there’s those days that take us to the brink of our own mommy melt-down. The “Calgon take me away” moment. The “I can’t wait until my kiddos are in bed so I can unwind with a giant glass of wine and watch brainless, tacky t.v shows” moments. Tonight is one of those moments.
B’s been having a VERY difficult time relating to her sister lately. There are 2.5 years between her and her little sister. Growing up, the two of them have always been the best of friends. They play really well, confide in each other, and share in one another’s successes. Within the last 6 months or so, B’s overall tolerance for her sister has changed.
Don’t get me wrong. B loves her sister with a fierce protectiveness. However, the last six months she’s become “bothered” by her sister’s constant attention. C is her sister’s shadow. She loves B with complete and total devotion. She wants to do everything with her. I guess most “oldest” siblings feel the smother effect and go a-wall from time to time?
The biggest issue I have is the way she deals with it. She talks down to her sister quite often. She complains anytime she has to play longer than 10 minutes with her. She sulks quite often. She doesn’t want to share her toys with her (mind you she’s 7 and knows how to share). She comments how C gets everything and because she’s in school she gets nothing. She’s gone from being the loving, happy-go-lucky big sister to a sulky, bored, whiny sibling.
Tonight I tried to talk to her about it, and she went into melt-down mode. Her emotions are so sensitive and it’s hard to know if that’s just her old-soul personality, or if her sensory system causes creates a flight response. She always has such a difficult time coming back down and calming herself. I have to hold her, hug her tightly, and rock her gently for 20+ minutes until she can settle.
The most frustrating part for me is that when I asked her why she’s acting out this way (towards her sister and her sourly attitude) she can’t give me an answer. When I ask her if her body is okay in relation to her sensory issues, she says, “No. Not really.” When I ask her what we can do to help her, she still can’t articulate what she needs and that bothers me. I want her to be able to advocate her needs as she goes through school. I want her to be able to articulate her needs and challenges. When does that change?
I keep wondering if she needs to see a counselor to talk through her emotional struggles and challenges, but I don’t want her to have a complex as she gets older. The complex where she sees something “wrong” with the way God created her. We love her 100% for the way she is, but that doesn’t mean living in this world isn’t difficult for her. Maybe this is just normal sibling rivalry, and I’m reading more into it than I need too? If anyone has an insight or feedback I’m all ears. To my readers: thanks for sticking around after my blogging break. I appreciate each and every one of you navigating along with me while dealing with your own parenting journeys.